The Misadventures of Momma Bish and Munchie

The Twists, turns, and true tales of a mom and her pint sized human

Tag

humor

Mommy is a What?

Tonight, we were running miserably late for bedtime. I was like… Please brush your teeth. Seriously, you need to brush your teeth. Stop playing with the toothpaste. Why is there toothpaste on your arm? OMG, it’s all over your shirt!… Continue Reading →
2018/04/02 0

Don’t Be Jealous I’m So Glamorous

I know that I always look glamorous as hell… in my yoga pants (that hopefully don’t, but probably do, have food crusted to them or milk spilled on them) and old t-shirt (which most likely has chocolate finger prints on… Continue Reading →
2015/03/13 0

Ain’t No Party Like a Momma Bish Burnt the Oatmeal Party

This morning started off like any other. Actually, I take that back. This morning, I decided to skip the typical nutritional Fruit Loop breakfast (because before I have my coffee, pouring some dry cereal in a cup and handing it… Continue Reading →
2014/11/25 0

Three Reasons Mommy Won’t Let You Eat Those

This morning, I exited the  bathroom and was attacked by a screaming Munchie, running through the house at super speed, wielding Reese’s Pumpkins in each hand. His tiny voice was yelling, “MOOOOOM! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMA! MOOOOOOMMY,” as he frantically waved chocolate and… Continue Reading →
2014/11/04 1

Sometimes My Kid is a Jerk

Where do I even begin? The other night, we headed to Mall-o-Ween… a safe trick or treating option in our town (which we learned you better show up on time for… because nearly everyone ran out of candy about an… Continue Reading →
2014/10/30 2

Reason #147 Mommy Can’t Pee Alone

One of the most impossible tasks to complete with a toddler is USING THE RESTROOM! I’m not even talking about public bathrooms. I’m talking about trying to pee in my own freaking house. When Mommy needs to take a tinkle,… Continue Reading →
2014/09/10 0

Mischievous Masterpiece

Sweet-Cheeks climbs up to the table with her coloring book and opens the bin of markers. Munchie is playing quietly in the living room. Taking advantage of this rare moment, I slide into a chair, flip open my laptop, and pull… Continue Reading →
2014/07/19 0

Mommy and Daddy Haven’t Slept in Days… Because Sleep Cycles Are a Cruel Joke and the Work of the Devil, Himself

I am throwing my hands in the air and calling BS on this whole godforsaken sleep cycle routine nonsense. Flip my tiddlywink pancakes and call me a hoggobblin, because I’m ferocious, sleep deprived, and spent the better portion of my night… Continue Reading →
2014/07/02 0

Confession: Today I Made Some Unsuspecting Email Marketer My Target… Because I Was Bored

This morning was EPIC!!! Without a home phone, we don’t get many people offering us their services (except for folks who show up at our door, interrupt naps, and unleash my true Momma BISH), so when this email came through this… Continue Reading →
2014/06/13 0

Survived Our First Play Date

One month on the outside and already dating. That’s how we roll in this house! Patrick was quite perplexed when I told him Alex and I were going to a play date. “Babies can’t even play. They just sit there.” … Continue reading →

2013/07/20 1
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