Sometimes My Kid is a Jerk

Where do I even begin? The other night, we headed to Mall-o-Ween… a safe trick or treating option in our town (which we learned you better show up on time for… because nearly everyone ran out of candy about an hour before we got there… and despite the event not ending until 9, most vendors were packed up and gone before 7pm… which was disappointing, but lesson learned… doesn’t matter… Munchie still had fun running around the mall).

So, our little Hulk is running around, chasing mascots (which included a dragon from the laser tag place, and a guy in an inflatable ice cream cone at Dairy Queen), and having a great time. All of the sudden, out of no where, this adorable little girl dressed up as Tinkerbell sees “Hulk” and gets SUPER excited. As she takes off toward him, her mom tells us that she is a HUGE Hulk fan. Tink’s mom is armed with her camera (thank goodness) and snaps a handful of pictures of our adorable kids.

I grab one of my (super fancy) Momma Bish cards out of my bag (I completely recommend that every mom carries a card of some sort… if for no other reason than to exchange photos… but you also never know when you will meet a super awesome friend), hand it to her, and request a copy of the pictures.

I know from experience that there is only about a 37% (a super accurate statistic that I just made up… but feel is pretty legit) chance that someone will actually contact me (because most moms are looking to connect and help each other out… which is far different from my experience distributing my contact information in the professional world, but I digress). So, yesterday, I sit down with my cup of coffee and check my email.. hoping to see some pictures… but trying not getting my hopes up.

After being too glazed over to enter my password correctly on the first try, my email loads… and what… what is this? An email with pictures attached! YAY! I was so excited to review the adorable meet and greet between my little Hulk and Tinkerbell. I open the attached photos, my heart gets giddy… the little green fairy goes in for a hug from my little giant, her sweet little words “Hulk Hug,” echoing in my mind… and then I see it… and I am MORTIFIED!

What I thought was an adorable exchange of hugs and welcoming new friends with open arms (which was apparently only occurring in my fairytale imagination) was in reality my kid (who I’m hoping was just REALLY into his role as Hulk) DEFLECTING this precious little girl’s hug. What a jerk! I love my kid… but come on dude, really?

In sixteen years, if my son is pouting on the couch because he is lacking a date for homecoming/prom/Friday/Saturday night… I’m going to pull out this gem of a photo and remind him that maybe THIS is why he is single. (And then I will hand him an aloe plant to cover that BURN!)

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Please note: I did contact Tinkerbell’s momma and request permission to post this story. Also, I’m 93% sure my own mother is going to call me and tell me not to call my kid a jerk. Sorry Mom, I can’t answer my phone. I’m (conveniently) out of minutes. I will correct myself by saying he isn’t a jerk… he just acts like one on occasion.

 

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