Many couples will nod in agreement… from the moment you say, “I do,” everyone starts pestering you about when you are going to have a baby. Perhaps you don’t want kids at all, maybe you want to wait, you might be like us – with a plan to start trying right away, or maybe you already have a kid(s) (or one on the way). Ultimately, the decision about how, when, and if you will ever have children isn’t up to friends and family… it’s your call (though most potential future grandmas beg to differ).
Then, if you DO decide to have a child (which is an incredible process)… you better have the socially acceptable number of children (two… one boy and one girl… in that order) or you will never hear the end of it.
In America, we have this “family of four” standard… which, given the divorce rate in our country, is kind of ironic. In fact, I almost feel like getting divorced has become less taboo than straying from the “two child” lifestyle. (Oh, our great-grandparents would be shaking their fingers at us!) You have one kid? When is the next one coming? You have more than two? Sorry to hear that… don’t you know how to use birth control… your life must be impossible!
Get over it people! My family planning is NONE of your business (but my whole life is on the internet, so I’m going to publicly rant about it anyway)! I have ONE child. He isn’t being raised like the stereotypical “only child” you have a negative connotation of… he is being raised as a socially well-adjusted member of society.
Are we planning to have more? Well, we were… but due to my current medical situation we have accepted that Munchie might very well be our only child… for the long-term. This isn’t necessarily something that has been easy to accept, but it’s the hand we have been dealt. If you haven’t ever been in a situation where your fertility was called into question… or confronted with life threatening risks to you or your child, you can’t really comprehend the size of the blade someone feels when you ask, “When are you having a(nother) baby?”
I feel like our society is starting to become more sensitive toward families with fertility issues… but don’t forget… just because someone has ONE child… doesn’t mean they are able (or want) to have more. You don’t know the stories of the people around you… and you don’t need to… but now you know mine… and what I’m dealing with… and since I have now publicly ranted about it… I think I have permission to start smacking people in the face when they ask me if/when we are going to try for number two.