After an exhausting weekend apart, Patrick and I flopped down on the couch together and rented The Neighbors (which is FINALLY available for RENTAL on Amazon Prime… thank you very much). This is where I must insert a serious disclaimer… this movie is not suitable for children… or even some adults (you have been advised).

We immediately felt connected to the main characters… who are the first among their friends to be married, have a mortgage, AND an infant. They get invited out by friends… and desperately want to continue their crazy carefree lifestyle… except… that tiny human makes “going out” a but more challenging than expected.

Instead of telling you the whole story, I will just fast forward. A frat moves in to the house next door…

Pause… Patrick and I look at each other and realize this would be absolutely incredible… and completely horrible at the same time. Thirty more minutes into the movie (during a frat party scene), the following conversation takes place…

Patrick: I remember going to parties like that.
Me: Ugh… I want to be at that party right now (totally sober of course).
Patrick: (Laughs) Yeah, that would be awesome!
Me: I think we should do this for our next date night. We can take Alex to our parents’… go  out… then recover the next day.
Patrick: Hey, we could just go to College Park!
Me: OMIGOSH!!!! AND IN THE MORNING WE COULD GO TO IKEA!!!!!!

And… that’s when we realized that perhaps our lives have just officially changed. (Not to mention the fact… I’m in bed before college parties even start… and they are so loud… and I only have yoga pants and mom jeans… I mean… what would I even wear?)

It’s like the kids say… YOLO… and unless I find a time machine… my idea of a night out is going to look more like Target… and less like a frat house. #getoffmylawn