Mom and Dad keep taking me to the fair. I have seen so many kinds of animals. I know you already have a bunch of cows, horses, and chickens… but I saw a few animals I think you should consider adding to your collection.
1. Rabbits. These things are AWESOME, but Dad wouldn’t let me touch them. When he walked away, Mom saw one of the 4-H kids take their rabbit out of the cage and asked if I could pet it. That rabbit was so darn soft! Mom said I could get one for the house, but Dad vetoed the decision. (I think he would love my rabbits if they lived at your house.)
2. Donkeys. I saw a donkey in the petting area and really wanted to touch it. Aunt Lizzie held me up, so I could get closer… and I tried to hop the fence. She freaked out. I was like… come on Aunt Lizzie… it’s just a donkey! Let me ride that thing!
3. Pygmy Goats. Mom and Dad both said I couldn’t have these. (Party poopers.) They did try to eat my boots, but I don’t care. They are super fun to look at and love to climb around, just like I do! If you get these, I suggest stocking up on boots… because they will eat a lot of them.
4. Ducks. I spent a really long time looking at the ducks and studying their movements. They look a lot like your chickens, but their noses are longer and they make the funniest sounds! Have you ever heard a duck before? They are crazy! I don’t even think you need these on your farm, but I really wanted to tell you about them.
I would also like to give you a list of animals you should not put on your farm.
1. Pigs. I really don’t care for pigs. They are cute while they are little, but they get big, loud, and smelly. I thought they were a little scary.
2. Turkeys. Holy (insert bad work that I’m not allowed to say here). The people in church told me that all of God’s creatures are beautiful… but either they haven’t seen a turkey… or God was running out of ideas. Let’s just stick to eating these gnarly creatures.
Oh, I also saw a bunch of farm machinery. It looked pretty awesome… and I think we need to talk about it. Maybe you could take me to a tractor store sometime and teach me about all the different kinds of tractors and stuff. I asked Mom, but she is pretty clueless and just said we would have to “ask Google.” Lame.
Alright, Mom is yelling around that I have had enough screen time this morning. I love you bunches.
PS. I really think I need a bunny rabbit. Also, we need to plan another sleepover.