The Homemade Bread Saga Better Known as, My Psychotic Bread-pisode


So, my husband is out of town and I’m basking in the summer air, downtown, in our adorable little city. Bricks line the sidewalks, cover sides of buildings, cute little signs poke out from the side of buildings, advertising quaint local businesses. As I share an ice cream with Munchie, I imagine my pre-baby, pre-marriage life. I could buy an overpriced loaf of bread at the local bakery, grab a latte from the coffee shop, and smell the beans roasting inside, as I nestle into a chair on the patio and read.

My thoughts are shaken by a tiny human demanding I share more of my beloved treat (ice cream being the only thing I have genuinely had a hard time sharing with my little guy… because he has no respect for sprinkles). Though a bit shaken, my thoughts don’t completely leave. After rubbing chocolate smudges away with a baby wipe, I put a bit of pep in my step and walk toward the bakery.

You see, with my husband out of town, I could spend a full week enjoying a delightful loaf of fresh bread. Raisin walnut, that’s what I got. If he has been home, that loaf wouldn’t have lasted until dinner… but without him there… I could savor my scrumptious treat. As I handed over my $5, I felt a little guilty. As much as I like supporting local business, I knew darn well I could have bought five perfectly good loaves of sandwich bread.

I really like nice foods… but I’m also a thrifty shopper. I made bread at home once before… and while it looked beautiful, it tasted like dirt. On the drive home, I shoved my mouth full of delicious goodness and arrived at one solid conclusion. I. Needed. A. Bread. Maker.

I mean, we had one growing up that I remember using a handful of times. People always register for them for their wedding. I almost registered for one. But… WHO ACTUALLY BAKES THEIR OWN BREAD (aside from Leslie M… a friend of mine who was featured on the news for freshly baking bread for her children’s packed lunches)?!?!?!

The next day, Munchie and I set out in search of a deal. We hit up Goodwill stores, with no luck. Then, a former classmate suggested I stop in and check out the Salvation Army Store. I totally forgot we even had one of those! I walk in and see not one, but TWO bread makers. I pulled them both off the shelf and start Googling them. They were far too old to even have reviews online… but one of them came with a cookbook… so, naturally, that’s the one I chose.

Marching toward the front of the store, giant bread maker on top of my stroller, I flopped my new appliance on the counter. For six bucks, all I had to do was make two loaves of bread and this baby would pay for itself… BUT WAIT!!! Special Summer Madness Sale? 50% OFF?!?!

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen… for $3, I got a stellar machine. Today, after finally acquiring some bread flour (necessary) I attempted my first loaf of white bread… and may I just say (without any sarcasm at all… possibly for the first time ever)… I FREAKING NAILED IT!

My husband is fully satisfied with his wife’s carbohydrate machine and will most certainly think twice about leaving again, for fear of that I might find an awesome dealthe next time I’m left unsupervised. (HINT: I might need a soft-serv machine.)

3 thoughts on “The Homemade Bread Saga Better Known as, My Psychotic Bread-pisode

  1. Ummm get a soft serve machine… I will totally toss in for the fixings and we can have soft serve parties (nevermind that will NEVER help me get into a pretty white dress… but it will be YUMMY)

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