I seriously just scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed and counted SEVEN (yes, 7) children who got puppies for Easter. (And one adult… you know who you are.) WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TO THE REST OF US??? Do you understand that your kids are going to tell their friends… and those friends will stomp home from school telling their parents that the Easter Bunny is a jerk for only leaving candy at their house? I thought giving kids bikes for Easter (of which I have counted 5) was over the top… but this whole puppy thing really takes the cake.

Don’t make your friends look like sh*tty parents… and don’t make our kids feel like they got screwed by a giant rabbit, fat man, etc.

Pets are for BIRTHDAYS… or if you feel like you HAVE to introduce a new furry critter on a holiday… DON’T MAKE IT A GIFT FROM A MYSTICAL CREATURE!

Stick to the code, or the rest of us “normal” parents who abide by the code will join forces and ensure the Tooth Fairy starts dropping a whole basket of freaking kittens on your front porch EVERY time you kid loses a tooth. Do you know how many kittens we can fit in a basket? Do you know how many teeth your child is going to lose? By the third tooth, animal control will have you under surveillance.

This is your one and only warning… we are watching you.