I would like to clear something up. Even though my sporadic posts may look like I have my shit together… I seriously have no idea what I am doing. Please keep in mind that I am showing you very brief snapshots of our life. If you think I’m perfect, then I am not doing a good job of what I set out to do… which is share the highs and lows of this crazy adventure known as parenting. Today, another mom reached out to me and at one point told me that she found me to be intimidating because it seemed like I was organized and had it all together. After a good laugh, I told her that I fly by the seat of my pants and just try to keep everyone alive.

I know what it is like to be intimidated by other moms who seem to have everything figured out. The truth is… if you take the time to talk to them… you very quickly learn… we are all on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum of our own and possibly being committed. No one is perfect. To prove it, the incredibly perfect Momma Bish is going to lay it all on the line.

1. Yesterday, I looked up to see Munchie chewing on a sheet of paper. By the time I grabbed it from him, half had been consumed. I’m sure we will be seeing it again soon.
2. About a week ago, Munchie was taking a bath. I leaned down to put some lotion on, look up, and he has his entire face shoved in the water. He was fine… but all of my lifeguard training (we are talking two years of intense training… not the three day lifeguard crash course) started running through my mind. I really thought he was drowning. Scared the freaking daylights out of me.
3. My kid eats dirt. Dirt and germs build a healthy immune system… or at least that is what I tell myself.
4. The dog and the baby like to stick their tongues in each other’s mouths. Gross… but true.
5. We have a blanket in our crib… but sometimes he just sleeps in bed with us. (Half the people who read this are contemplating sending me information on SIDs. Don’t bother.)
6. We don’t follow a schedule.
7. We typically drop him off with his grandparents for a couple days at a time. (And I sleep for a full day. No joke.)
8. I suffer from postpartum depression. I have a therapist and I take medication. (Gasp!) When Mommy is happy… everyone is happy.
9. Sometimes, I just throw my hands in the air, admit I have no idea what I am doing, and cry.
10. I had a c-section, feed my baby formula, and sometimes let Munchie drink bottles that have been around for more than 60 minutes! (Not too much longer… but some moms are flipping out right now.)
11. My baby fell off the bed… and frequently bumps his head on things. (He is a baby.)
12. My husband does most of the laundry… and dishes. (He is amazing… and not for rent.)
13. We both HATE doing laundry and have a giant pile of dirty clothes on the bedroom floor. (My mom is now planning an intervention.)
14. The dog cleans our high chair. I only wipe it down once a day. (Please refer to number 4.)
15. We usually only put socks on Munchie if his grandparents are going to be around.
16. Sleep training is a lot of work. Instead, when he wakes up at night, we just give him a bottle… because we all need sleep… and listening to him cry causes me physical pain.
17. I take naps… almost every day.

I’m not neglectful. I’m just not perfect. None of us are perfect. Those who claim to be perfect are lying. Don’t be intimidated by other parents… we are all just trying to survive.

Alright… your turn… spill.