Some days, you feel like Super Mom. You feel on top of the world, like you have everything under control and someone should Pinterest your life. Today was not that kind of day. Other days, you feel like you think you are functioning on an average level… blending in… we are going to call this a Regular Mom kind of day. This doesn’t really sum up today either. Then, there are days where you feel like the kid doggy paddling the length of the pool, just trying to keep your head above water. We will call this Survival Mode Mom. Right now, I’m pretty sure my head is bobbing below the surface a little too much to even qualify as a doggy paddle.
It’s not that I have been a bad mom. I fed my child, changed countless diapers, and played… and sometimes he was happy… but he spent a good deal of the day just screaming. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what he wanted. I exhausted myself trying to figure out what he wanted/needed. his screams are like nails on the chalkboard of my soul. I know he was tired… but he refused to sleep. (Why do they do that?!?!) After about two hours of screaming, he finally closed his eyes.
I am exhausted on all levels.
Most people only post pictures of happy things… blog about happy events and experiences… and make being a mom sound like freaking rainbows and sunshine. Well… I really think we need to be honest about what is going on. Some days are filled with nothing but bliss… but… today was hell and tomorrow doesn’t come with a promise of being better. Being a parent is HARD… and I think it’s time we admit that.
I can’t wait to recharge my battery by bonding with other moms and dads over the next three days. Library tomorrow. Playdate on Wednesday. Playgroup on Thursday. Sure, we take our kids… but I’m pretty sure parents are really just there to recharge their batteries. I find these times to be a safe haven… where we can share our experiences, problem solve together, and help one another figure out what the heck we are doing. Thank goodness… because I’m pretty much just making things up as I go.