During my pregnancy, I read stories and blogs about moms thinking their kids were all something special. Don’t get me wrong… every child is special in their own unique way… but these people were bragging about their kids doing normal baby crap. I would read them and think… “So what if your kid can roll over… my dog can do that, too” or “Your baby pooped twice today? Glad I wasn’t around to smell it.” Everything they were bragging about was completely normal, non-impressive baby behavior.
I was never going to be one of those idiot moms who drove everyone else crazy talking about her kid being an honors student at XYZ school… and I certainly wasn’t going to plaster it on the back of my car. I wasn’t going to post five million picture of my baby sleeping and brag about how adorable he is. I wouldn’t bore everyone with baby stats… because people don’t care how big my baby is… and I probably wouldn’t remember the numbers anyway… right? Wrong.
My wise cousin bestowed some wisdom upon me at some point during my time as a human incubator. She strongly discouraged me from using the “N” word. That’s right… she told me to NEVER say NEVER… because when you use that evil “N” word… you will most likely do the exact thing that you have sworn off. (I believe the conversation started when we spotted a child on a leash. At one time, I saw this as cruel… but I am beginning to grow fond of the concept.)
I once vowed to NEVER be that annoying mom that people rolled their eyes at… I wasn’t going to be crazy baby obsessed… I wasn’t going to brag about nonsense… I wasn’t going to clutter everyone’s newsfeed with photos of my offspring. No… I was going to be different.
Yeah, right. The moment Munchie popped out and immediately started peeing all over the operating room, we started bragging. The moment his little tushie hit the scale, the measuring tape was pulled, and the crud was wiped off… we were so in love with, and so proud of, our amazing baby. From that moment on, we started spewing baby stats and information. Weight, length, new skills… it was like an infection. I was spilling information about Munchie and just beaming with delight.
At about five months gestation, Munchie started to astound doctors with his growth and development. He continues to do so today. This afternoon, we went in for his 2 month check up. He is 24.5″ long, 15lbs and 8oz, and in the 97th percentile for both. The doctor was baffled when she went to check his neck control. She had him hold onto her fingers and sit… then he pulled himself up to a standing position. She checked a few more things and said that developmentally, he is at a 4 month old level. BAM – SUPER ADVANCED NINJA BABY!!!
I have turned into THAT mom. Sorry world… but when your kid is as kick ass as ours… you just can’t keep it to yourself. (Pretty sure all moms feel this way about their kid… I mean… seriously… the smallest things make a parent so flippin proud!)by