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One month on the outside and already dating. That’s how we roll in this house! Patrick was quite perplexed when I told him Alex and I were going to a play date. “Babies can’t even play. They just sit there.” Alright, in his defense, our kid does just sit there… well really, he just sort of lays there. Whatever. He needs to socialize. More importantly, at this point, I need to socialize.

Since we are among the only parents in our immediate group of friends, going to a play date requires meeting new people. Typically, I would Facebook stalk the crap out of people who were planning to attend. Especially now that Munchie is in the picture. But, let’s be honest… the amount of time it takes to sufficiently run your own background check via Facebook, and other social media outlets, far exceeds the amount of “free” time any new parent has on their hands. I was fortunate enough to have a friend invite me to our first play date… so I knew the rest of the moms and babies would be of good “quality.” No background checks required.

So, we roll up to our play date. One baby is drooling everywhere (teething) and the other is passed out in the middle of the room. Before long, we add Alex to the mix, chugging his bottle. Soon, a fourth baby (older than the rest) arrives. He is slightly more mobile than the rest, flopping around a bit on the floor. Alex lets out a massive burp and pukes all over me. Another baby pooped their pants… and all of the babies peed their pants at one point. A couple of the babies start yelling at each other and one starts crying. Inside, I chuckle to myself. I feel like I’m at a miniature frat party. This just further justifies my belief that babies act like tiny drunk people. Apparently, college did prepare me for the future… parenthood.

I was able to mingle with some other moms, swap some stories, helpful parenting tips (from this decade), share our pains, and gain some hope. These babies will keep growing, sleep longer, and eat less often! I enjoyed our play date. (Nice to meet you ladies!)

Munchie, on the other hand, isn’t very good at making socially acceptable decisions that make the other babies want to be his friend. He spent the better part of our play date screaming and eating… until he passed out during tummy time, face planted on the floor, using his binkie as a kickstand so he could breathe. (My baby’s got mad skillz.)

I am hoping his lack of social skills don’t get us excluded from future play dates. After all, I can’t be the only mom who Facebook stalks and screens our potential playmates via the interwebs.

Note to future playmates: We promise to pack a few extra positive attitudes in our diaper bag next time!

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